The Andaman Sea Islands Part II - Ko Phi Phi

Ok - so on to Koh Phi Phi. And a warning here - I went nuts with the pictures (which is why it took so long to post this one) and didn't let up on the words either. Koh Phi Phi Marine National Park consists of a number of islands – 15 is the number in my head, but don’t quote me on that. Anyway – there are two main islands, Koh Phi Phi Don (most people just refer to it as Koh Phi Phi) and Koh Phi Phi Ley. If you have heard of these islands it is probably because Koh Phi Phi is known as a tropical paradise, or you have heard of it because it was wiped out during the 2004 Tsunami. Both islands are amazing – green hills, limestone cliffs, breathtaking white beaches and of course the stunning turquoise waters of the Andaman Sea. Koh Phi Phi was getting a reputation as the next Phuket before the tsunami, and it looks like it is well on its way to getting right back there. The LP notes that Koh Phi Phi was about to “buckle under the crippling weight of its popularity” before the tsunami. “The islands water supply dwindled, rubbish started to tarnish the once unspoilt bays and increased boat traffic scarred coral.” The tsunami wreaked major destruction – wiping out almost every standing structure between the two main bays (Koh Phi Phi is “actually two islands joined by a small isthmus separating the two prized beaches of Ao Tan Sai and Ao Lo Dalam).” For the most part it is all rebuilt now, although you can still see some remnants of the destruction. And of course there is a ton of new construction as well. There was some hope that lessons would have been learned from the past, but it looks like Koh Phi Phi is rapidly becoming overwhelmed again. There are no roads on Koh Phi Phi, so transportation is either by foot or boat. Cars are banned and I think motorbikes are banned as well, even though we saw a few motorbikes on the island.

Koh Phi Phi Ley is the smaller of the two islands and protected on all sides by soaring limestone cliffs. This island remains untouched by progress as no one is allowed to stay overnight here, and has no buildings or construction save for a toilet area and a few signs. There are two magnificent bays: Pilah and Ao Maya. Ao Maya is better known as “The Beach” as that’s where the Leo movie of the same name was filmed (although in the book and movie it supposedly took place on the Gulf of Thailand side) – and it is hugely popular – more on that later. Minus the people, it is an absolutely stunning island.

Impressions, Thoughts and a Few Stories
On arrival at Koh Phi Phi we were hounded by all of the “touts” looking to book you a room. As we hadn’t booked a room ahead (again, it was super busy because of Chinese New Year) this wasn’t annoying, and our “tout” got us a room at the Phi Phi Inn, which was one of the only buildings on the isthmus to survive the tsunami. We headed for the beach right away, and having seen Ao Ton Sai as we arrived by ferry (it was full of boats and the beach seemed more for transportation than relaxing) we decided to try the beach opposite, Ao Lo Dalam. Keep in mind Koh Phi Phi is a very small island – and we were right between the two main beaches – maybe a minute walk from our hotel to either beach. Ao Lo Dalam was stunning – with limestone cliffs on both sides of the bay. The sand was amazing, and the water was again like bathwater, although not as clear and clean as on Phuket. And there were lots of people, but nowhere near as crazy as Phuket. It was like one row of chairs and umbrellas with breaks between them where there was only beach. This is definitely more of what I was hoping for – and a much better island feel than Phuket (it may be that Phuket is just too big to feel like an island). So was this a sign of things to come, or would this only be true for the beach? Um, it was definitely just a first impression – and turned out to be wrong. Ko Phi Phi is absolutely crazy with tourists. The main drag is just unreal – and there are no cars or motorbikes, but it seems as busy with all the foot, cart and bike traffic (and all the Thais pushing the carts and riding bikes have learned at least one English word, as the streets are full of the sounds of voices saying “beep, beep”). The streets are narrow and completely full – it was almost impossible to walk around holding hands. And the streets are completely full of tourist shops – I have never seen so many diving shops (people actually stood outside of them trying to rope people in to go diving) or convenience stores. Add in how friggin’ hot it was (much hotter than Phuket – or at least it felt like it – maybe because the streets were so confined and crowded) and I was really edgy unless we were on the beach or on a trip. I really did not dig the feel of Koh Phi Phi.

Which leads me to a question I can’t answer for the life of me: why are so many westerners here and why do so many come back again and again? I understand why people go to resorts, beaches, sun and warm weather. Trust me, I do. But you can do that in so many places. It just boggles my mind that people travel halfway around the world, have all of Asia at their fingertips (and you really do from Bangkok) and they choose to go to a resort area full of westerners. Again, why travel halfway across the world to experience that? Now if you are traveling Thailand (or Asia) and put it on your itinerary – I can understand that. But we met so many people who did that and then keep coming back to just the islands year after year. And I guess I should just let it go – whatever floats your boat and all, but it just makes no sense to me.

Ok – I’m better. Deep breath. But now I have to mention another general observation. And this goes to how absolutely rude Europeans are. And the irony is that Americans are known as the rude ones, as any European will tell you. And as an American (and having seen many American tourists) I understand why people think this, and why it is a generalization about Americans. We are loud and quite ignorant of the world, in comparison to Europeans. But Europeans are rude in a worse way: how they treat people. They are like little kids when they order, saying “I want . . .” or “Give me . . .” or just pointing and grunting. No please, no thank you and worst of all no respect (and this isn’t just a language barrier thing – no way). They have such a sense of entitlement and act like they are above others (especially Thais). And of course this isn’t every European (the Italians were the worst by a large margin), but I noticed this behavior every day and in almost every situation - it was very disheartening. One example – and this is one that Margaret noticed and happened at this little food/milkshake stand on the beach. Let me preface by saying that it was run by just about the nicest Thai family ever. So two Swedish women (young – and this may be part of the issue – Koh Phi Phi is a much younger crowd than Phuket – lots of teenagers through mid-20s – and if you are here at that age it probably mean you come from some wealth – so it could have something to do with the young with money entitlement thing) are in front of Margaret and one of them orders a banana shake. I think they had some problems in communicating with the Thai guy taking their order and originally had ordered two fruits in the milkshake but got pretty bent out of shape when they learned it was more expensive and so stayed with just the banana shake. Anyway the banana shake costs 40 baht (a little over $1) and the woman pulls out of wad of 1,000 Baht notes, and some change and puts down 38 Baht and tells the Thai guy that that must be close enough. But he wouldn’t budge (and good for him) and the woman gets pissed. She gets the rest of the change from her friend, gives it to the Thai guy – and then the best part: she takes one sip of the shake, makes a face, slams it down on the counter and walks off. From experience, the shakes were awesome. And this type of incident (just plain nastiness) was common.

Ok – back to nonsense. The Phi Phi Inn was a good hotel (you can’t beat the location), if a tad expensive because of the weekend. We had a huge room (it was for three people) because it was the last room they had left when we booked. We originally got it for two nights because we weren’t sure if we were going to stay longer. At some point we decided to stay there for the rest of our trip and asked if we could stay another couple of nights – and we could – but we had to move to a smaller room. No problem. But I didn’t confirm the last night (mainly because no one was ever at the front desk) and the morning of our final night there we were told the hotel was full and we had to leave. Crikey. I wasn’t too happy, but the lady at the front desk called her brother and he had a room at his hotel (called the Hudsin Inn) that had an opening for one night. So we snatched that – and it wasn’t very far away. Again – it can be a hassle to not book ahead, but don’t listen to any of the scare tactics out there – if you don’t know your exact schedule – don’t book ahead – you can always find a place.

Not too much more before we get into the day trips. There is a restaurant called Papaya – and they have great food (especially Papaya Salad!!!).They did serve us warm beer (we ordered Singha and our waitress brought us two Singhas even though they were warm and other types were cold) but used ice cubes on the first beers and ordered a different kind that was cold after that. We also had dinner at this Italian place one night and they had glasses of wine for 80 Baht (a tad over $2) – so we figured we had to try it even though it might be scary bad. And it was the worst glass of wine I have ever been served! Worse than Boone’s! Not even comparable to the icy sweetness of Cold Duck. But if you order a $2 glass of wine I think one should be prepared for this. I also made a friend for a little while.On the beach we had a couple of fav places – a little food shack (the one from the “rude Euro” example) and an Italian hut/bar. The Italian place was incredible – a tad pricey – but the food was amazing. Another funny thing about Phi Phi (and Phuket) is all of the reggae bars – all over the beach and town blasting Bob Marley. Just too good. One last food item - in the area that still hasnt been built back up after the tsunami there is sort of a "tent city" of restaurants - just little makeshift places - and it might be the best food on the island - we had dinner at this guy's place - it was excellent. Hopefully they won't evict everybody to rebuild here. On our last day we went to Long Beach – which was about a half hour walk, through the forest. There are only a couple of resorts on Long Beach and it is less crowded than the main beaches, although certainly not devoid of people. It also has the clearest water on the island – and we wished we had ventured there earlier, as we only had a couple of hours before we had to go on our day trip. There is a much heralded Viewpoint on Phi Phi that you can walk to. The signs aren’t the best though, and we took off to walk to it without really focusing on where it was. So the first time we attempted (at dusk, as we were going to see the sunset) we went the wrong way – and actually ended up at a mini-view point – although we had to walk through some brush and when we got there it was so buggy that I took a couple of pictures and we took off. But we also got to see a part of the islands we didn’t even know existed – a sort or semi-circle through the interior of the island linking the two sides. And this is where many of the Thai people live – and as you can see, not all of Phi Phi is a resort. The second time we actually made it to the correct viewpoint – and it was a haul – tons of steps and paths going up the hill. And by the time I got up there I was sweating like only I can. It was a bit embarrassing – I actually stood off by myself for a bit until I was under control! And there were a few people up there – and for good reason – it was just such a great view of the twin bays and the sunset was incredible.
A Day Trip Snorkeling – Wat, Puke in the Morning, This is “The Beach”? and More Monkeys
So we continued our string of good times with a snorkeling trip. I am telling you – the day trips here are so worth it. This trip was snorkeling in various spots around Koh Phi Phi Ley, visiting Maya Bay and then Monkey Beach back on Koh Phi Phi. The trip started out a little questionable, as we stopped by the tour agency where we booked the trip at 8am like instructed, but no one seemed to understand our receipt (it turns out the actual trip we booked wasn’t written on the receipt – so they didn’t know which one it was supposed to be). They took us to the dock and told us to wait, and then instructed us to come back at 9am. But on our way back to the tour agency, the main guy stopped us again and he had figured out what trip we were supposed to be on, which I think had already left. Anyway a tour guide who looked like he had just gotten out of bed came up to us and told us to follow him. We went to a different tour shop and he got ready and another woman showed up and we finally set off. I think by missing our original tour in the screw up, we ended up with three in our boat instead of a full one (10 people I think). Sweet. Our tour guide was named Wat (and Nilla I figured if I sent him to you that would count as both a Wat and a Sherpa!) and he was hilarious – sort of quiet, but a good sense of humor. We stopped at our first snorkeling spot and it was just the three of us tourists and Wat. We followed Wat as he showed us some good spots to check out the coral and fish. Wat had an underwater video camera, as they tape your trip and sell it to you afterwards (it is not cheap). Anyway – we didn’t buy this video, but I almost wish we had just to show off how awkward I am sliding/jumping out of the boat. Too funny. So we snorkeled for about 45 minutes and I was gassed. Plus I was still battling a cold and every time I dove down it felt like my ear drum was going to explode (good thing the scuba diving idea never made it past the idea stage). But it was a grand time. We got back onto the boat and headed out for our next stop. And this is when the woman with us (she was from San Diego) puked all over Margaret’s leg and hat (which was lying on the floor of the boat). And she really let it go – although it looked mostly like sea water. I figured she just had motion sickness, but she mentioned that she was there with her friend who was a bartender and she had one too many drinks last night (which if I got the story right, was two drinks). Anyway, it was quite a morning greeting for Margaret. And that was the last we saw of her hat, which she had bought two days beforehand.

We stopped at another place to snorkel, and here you could feed the fish - but then they would attack you (literally).We then headed to Maya Bay (again, this is where “The Beach” was filmed and is now a huge tourist attraction). We actually anchored the boat at Lo Sa Ma Bay, which is just across from Maya Bay, because Wat said Maya Bay would be too crowded. Both LP and Let’s Go warned about Maya Bay – they said it was pretty but way too overcrowded. And they are right. So many people take day trips just to go to Maya Bay. DON’T. Most of the day trips include a stop at Maya Bay, so if you have to see it, do it as part of a trip. Otherwise you will have half a day of disappointment. We had to crawl through some jagged rocks and then walk through some mangroves to get to “The Beach” – and don’t get me wrong based on my rant – Maya Bay is beautiful – but it is so crowded with day-trippers that you can’t even really get many good pictures. Both of our day-trips made stops here and the second day it was just before sunset and wasn’t so busy – so we managed to get a couple of decent shots. But this is the reality. And the thing that cracked me up – people there for the day were out in the water snorkeling with the masses of people! I guess they might see feet and ankles. It just cracked me up. So a big thumbs down to Maya Bay and another reason to hate Leo.

We snorkeled a little more at Lo Sa Ma Bay – and then headed off for our last stop at Monkey Beach. Wat told us that the day before a couple of tourists in kayaks got all cut up when a long tail boat ran over them (it was when he was warning us to be careful snorkeling in the bay as there were lots of boats there) – didn’t sound very nice. But it is interesting how you never hear about any accidents in resort areas – they are pretty good at keeping it out of the news. Monkey Bay is on Koh Phi Phi and just minutes from the main dock. And it is just a tiny little beach where the monkeys come – I am guessing due to the food and drink given to them by tourists (and this is probably only some I would think of, but it crossed my mind whether the monkeys wondered where the fook all their handouts were in the weeks after the tsunami). There were a few long tail boats there when we arrived – and there were more monkeys. And I don’t know what it is, but humans seem so enthralled by monkeys (myself included). So we spent a few minutes there watching and feeding the monkeys. And just enjoying the beautiful scenery – it really was amazing. And then Margaret offered a monkey her water bottle and it caused quite a stir – at one point there were two monkeys drinking from it at the same time. All hail the monkeys! After that it was back to shore and then on to the shop, where Wat got the video ready to show. I went and bought beers for the show. I think Wat was super surprised that I gave one to him – at least it seemed so (he also seemed somewhat surprised by the tip we gave him). And the video was really well done – cheesy music – but quite professional – I mean he was showing it five minutes after we got back – he did a really good job shooting it and man, I tell you – technology. In the end we decided to wait and see what our trip the next day looked like on film, because we were only gonna buy one. Before we left we bought our boat tickets back to Phuket and set up our trip for the next day – it was the three in one fun trip: snorkeling with sharks, cliff jumping and sunset/Maya Bay (of course).

Another Day Trip – Jaron (I think), Snorkeling with Sharks, Cliff Jumping and Bruised (or Broken) Tailbones
It was our last full day on Koh Phi Phi, as we would ferry back to Phuket and fly home the next day. Our final trip began in the mid-afternoon, as it was timed to end at sunset. We showed up at the tour agency and were hoping that we would have Wat as a tour guide again, but he was leading a full day trip. So our guide was Jaron (at least that’s what I think he said, and I’m gonna go with that as it reminds me of the multi-talented Evan and Jaron) and there was one other couple with us – a French guy and his Thai girlfriend. I think she was the weeklong type of girlfriend, but I can’t be sure. We were really lucky as we didn’t have many people on any of our day-trips. In fact our boat was so empty that another girl and guy from the shop went with us – they were all smiles all the time – so much fun (note Jaron is on the left in the first picture). So Jaron starts us off by showing us a video of a group cliff jumping – and told us to watch and see how they jumped and landed in the water (you want to go in as straight as you can). And it already made me nervous as it looked scary and like quite a distance. Add the fact that many of the jumpers had hesitated made me even more nervous. Ruh roh. It was another awesome day to be out – and as the long tail boat headed for the snorkeling area, Jaron showed us where we would be jumping. Double ruh roh.Our boat stopped out near some coral in the middle of the water, and this is where we were going to snorkel with the sharks. Now we weren’t looking for Jaws certainly (Jaron called them black-tipped reef sharks), but it was still a little un-nerving. We jumped off the boat and followed Jaron. He instructed us on many hand signs – and emphasized the ones for “shark” and “direction” as he would dive down to where the sharks were and they would swim off. Even without the sharks it was a great area to snorkel in – so many fish and lots of coral. Plus my cold had subsided enough now that I could dive down without my eardrum exploding. And we did see sharks. I only saw three of them – I think we encountered five or six. And I only saw them swimming away, and they were quite fast. But you could definitely tell they were sharks and it was kind of spooky. Anyway – we didn’t get any good pix with the camera – as the sharks we too fast and we weren’t close enough – but we did buy the video that Jaron made – and he got some great shots. Unfortunately I don’t have any knowledge of: 1) how to use software to “splice” parts of a DVD; or 2) how to upload a video. On top of that I’m not sure my connection limitations here would even allow it. Maybe I’ll figure it out at some point in the future. Or you’ll just have to drop by sometime and check it out (you can wait until we get back to NA).

And then it was on to cliff jumping. And again, the pictures are limited as we only got a few with the underwater camera we had (but the video is awesome). We get to the cliff area and anchor the boat. Then we put on our water shoes and jump into the water and swim over to the cliff. On the way up it is a little tricky, but not too bad. At the end of our climb Jaron is waiting for us with the video camera, showing us where we will jump. And it seems high. Yikes. Before we left we had to sign away our lives – the typical release everyone has to sign – but now I am wondering if there isn’t a very good reason for it! Our first jump was from about 11 meters (approximately 36 feet) and it looks like a long drop. The French guy goes first and that nut-job actually dives! It was crazy – and he resurfaced ok. Then the Thai girl jumps and she does fine. So I give the underwater camera to Margaret and she gets ready to take a photo of me going down. And Jaron counts – one, two, three . . . and I totally hesitate – the video is a crack up! But finally I get the courage and jump! Holy crap – I don’t think I have ever been in the air that long without a parachute – I keep waiting for the water and it never seems to come. But finally I splash in and all is well! I resurface and Margaret throws me the camera and I snap her jumping in, and I have to say that I did a pretty good job considering the camera, the waves, the current and my still shaking arms. Margaet took a little while to get up her courage to jump (you can barely see her on the cliff in this picture),but she jumped – and her form looked good (and I am camera-man of the year - that shot shows how friggin' high the jump was - even more than the video does). And jump one was history. Although the current was quite tricky and before you knew it you were a ways out – and had to swim against the current back to the cliff. By the time I got there I was quite tired.

The second jump was maybe the scariest thing I have ever done. I only say maybe because I have also jumped out of a plane. So we are now up a few more meters – this jump is from 14 meters (approximately 46 feet) – trust me – it is a long way down. The French guy goes first again – and he jumps in and is fine. The Thai girl decides she is going to jump from the tree that hangs over the cliff, saying that her dad “is a monkey.” Absolutely crazy. As she starts climbing up in the tree she motions for me to jump. And I gingerly move over to the edge. And my heart is pounding and my legs are weak. There is a branch sticking out – and it looks like I will hit my head on it when I jump, but Jaron assures me that won’t happen. Again the countdown, and again the hesitation. And finally I do it. Although it isn’t a very powerful jump. I still can’t believe I did it – I was so close to going back to the original spot. And I am freaked the whole way down. And I know I am not straight as I can feel my legs crab-walking and I can’t do anything about it. I remember seeing one guy in the video doing the same thing (and us laughing at him) and now I understand why. And when I hit it is a collision. And my ass stings like hell. And it takes me a second to realize I am all right. So I swim off and again Margaret throws me the camera. Then the Thai girl jumps out of the tree – and it was unreal. It looks just as crazy on the video. And finally it is Margaret’s turn. And she takes a long time – we are all yelling at her that it is ok, and she keeps walking up to the spot and then moving back. And it seems like she might not do it, when her courage kicks in and she jumps (I know - no camera-man of the year this time - but look carefully and you'll see her). And she has good form again, so I figure she is going to be fine. But when she surfaces she is like, “Oh my ass! My ass! My butt!!” And we all crack up – and she seems ok, although her butt hurts way more than mine (she mentions that she thinks the jump gave her an enema). We swim back to the boat and get on and sit down gingerly.

The rest of the trip is pretty uneventful, although with some pretty good scenery. We went to Maya Bay for about 30 minutes and as I mentioned it was much less crowded than the day before – so we actually saw how pretty it can be. Then we motored home, catching the sunset on the long tail boat on the way. It was pretty spectacular. One of those times you can watch it set against the water and see how the sun disappears so quickly at the end. Coolio. We get back to the tour shop and Jaron gets the video ready and the French guy and I go buy a bunch of beers and hand them out to all at the shop. We buy a few rounds while watching the video – good stuff. And Jaron is awesome with the camera – the shots of the sharks are so amazing. And the cliff jumping – just too good. On the video you can really tell how scared Margaret and I are. My hesitations and crab-walking are hilarious. There is one other thing that the video picks up: when my hair is wet I totally have a BALD SPOT!!! Holy hell I hate getting old. It is a tad noticeable here and there in the video, but when we are climbing up the cliff and Jaron is taping from above it is impossible to miss – and I really had no idea. When I first saw it I was trying to think of who else was with us! Margaret is so nice – she tells me it is “just the way my hair is parted.” I love my baby! Needless to say it isn’t my brightest moment ever. Sigh. After a few beers we all say our goodbyes (saying we might meet later for dinner) and head our separate ways. Margaret and I (and the other couple) ordered the video, which we can pick up the next day. We tip Jaron and he seems absolutely shocked. He says “three beers, the video and money?” – and again it goes to a couple of things – tipping not being so common in Thailand – and all the Europeans there (along with being rude they don’t tip). And I have had the argument with people whether tipping in a country where it isn’t “necessary” is actually rude or not – but I just can’t not tip a little when a trip is so well run. It just seems wrong.

On to the tailbone injuries – when we left the tour agency, I noticed that it hurt to get out of my chair. And Margaret’s tailbone was really hurting her. So we decided to just pick up some food and crash. Margaret got some healthy Thai food, but I picked up a burger and a chicken burger and some beer. So here we are: eating and drinking in bed and almost unable to move. We felt like the oldest couple ever. The next day we had the morning to kill at the beach. And it was so hard getting in and out of those chairs. Then we had an hour ferry ride in a very cramped ferry. And it hurt so bad to sit down by that point. When we got back to Phuket we had six hours to kill (read on) and then the cab ride to the airport (our asses killed), waiting at the airport (ok b/c you could walk around), an hour and a half flight (sucked so bad) and the cab ride home (close to tears). So I figured bruised tailbones – a couple of days and we’ll be fine. And it seemed to get better, but then got a lot worse. There were two nights I couldn’t even sleep. And a little over a week later I was beginning to wonder if maybe we had fractured our tailbones – and that worried me. But when we looked up the gospel on the internet it mentioned that bruised or broken it doesn’t really matter – you just have to wait it out. On one site there was a comments thread – and the first person posted about hurting his tailbone when cliff jumping from 40 feet! And we had to laugh as the next five replies were all calling that person an idiot who deserved what he got! Too good. So an update – it is now over two weeks later and while things have greatly improved, it still hurts to get up from sitting – and sitting itself can kill after awhile. We just spent a weekend chaperoning some 8th graders on a volunteer trip to Pattaya (next blog) – about a 3 hour bus ride when you figure in stops and traffic – and it killed. I think I have a new respect for people with bruised tailbones. It sucks. But I’d do it all over again. Of course I’m not sure I could ever do that second jump again – my legs are shaking just thinking about it.

A Few Hours to Kill (Phuket Town)
We got back to Phuket around 4pm on our last day and had a few hours to kill as our flight home wasn’t until 11pm. And as neither of us could sit down we decided to walk around and check out Phuket Town. We got dropped off in the main tourist area, and dropped our bags at a grocery store (yes, a grocery store – awesome). Tourism of course has changed Phuket town, but it still has some of its old charm – and the “evocative Sino-Portuguese” architecture is pretty cool. We walked around aimlessly for awhile. Then we stumbled upon an evening market/festival that was just crazy due to it being the last night of Chinese New Year. It was perfect for us, especially the food stalls since we were low on Baht and our butts killed - the food stalls had cheap food and we ate while wandering around! We came upon a Thai band playing some Green Day – and a little more traditional scene of Thai music. On our way back to catch a cab we stopped in a little restaurant to have one last bite – can’t leave without some Morning Glory in Oyster Sauce! It was worth the pain of sitting down. One last thing – and I promise this is it. So just after I had my little car seat rant, I came across someone (an economist no less) who agrees with me! I just read “Freakonomics”, which is a pretty fun and interesting read (if you can get over how happy the authors are with themselves). So the book is making the point that swimming pools are far more hazardous to children than guns or anything else: “If every parent followed these precautions [over swimming pools], the lives of perhaps four hundred children would be saved every year. That would outnumber the lives saved by two of the most widely promoted inventions in recent memory: safer cribs and car seats. The data show that car seats are, at best, nominally helpful. It is certainly safer to keep a child in the rear seat than sitting on a lap in the front seat [damn it!], where in the event of an accident he essentially becomes a projectile. But the safety to be gained here is from preventing the kids from riding shotgun, not from strapping them into a $200 car seat.” [Emphasis added]