Koh Samet - December 2006

I am going to try and describe my adventures in less detail and many fewer words, starting with Koh Samet. This is for my benefit (as well as yours). So I am going to attempt to just describe certain things that happen and not every last detail – and not in specific order necessarily. This is going to be really tough for me because I am such a linear person and also because I have Stephen King disease. But I will try. It may take a few entries, but I think you will notice a difference, and hopefully some improvement. And as I am no longer teaching and unemployed once again, I hope to get a number of blog entries done quickly and catch up to the present!

Koh Samet
Koh Samet is an island (koh) four hours by car from Bangkok. It is on the east coast of Thailand (not the southern islands like Phuket, Koh Samui, etc.) in the Gulf of Thailand. It is an island that is popular with Thais and foreigners (farang) alike – and has a very laid back atmosphere, even during the busy season. Koh Samet has amazing beaches with white sand and clear water, and like most islands in Thailand, it caters to tourists. Some like this aspect; some hate it. I imagine most people will think I am going to say I hate it. But Koh Samet is so laid back and even though there are lots of people (December – February is the high season for the islands and Thailand in general – it is the “cool season”) it isn’t madly crowded. You can walk down to the beach, rent an umbrella and chairs for the day – and yes there are people beside you – but I was really surprised at how un-crowded it really was. And it is hard not to like all the Thai islands have to offer: massages on the beach, fruit shakes (mango in particular – good googily moogily), BBQ on the beach, Singha on the beach, mopeds to rent, etc.

A Four (Six) Hour Tour
So Margaret and I are learning. But it is taking us some time. We keep saying we have learned things, and then make the same mistakes over and over again. A good example is our bus ride to Koh Samet. We have a long weekend (Monday, December 11th was Thai Constitution Day) and we decide to catch the bus right after school on Friday (around 4pm). This will not get us to the dock in time to get the regular ferry, so we have to call ahead and charter a speed boat, which is way more expensive but we want to get there on Friday so we have a full day on Saturday. I am going to tell you the lesson before I get any further in the story – and I am still fuming from this bus ride. Never, never, never, never, never, never, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, never, never, never, NEVER listen to ANYONE in Thailand about traveling or anything else. It doesn’t matter if they are Thai or an ex-pat, they do not know what they are talking about, or will not provide the information you want (for example Margaret asked a Thai lady at school to see what a cab would cost and how long it would take, and she tells Margaret, oh way too expensive – of course it turns out that it isn’t). Guide book, ok. Official government websites, ok. Normal people – not a chance.

Our guide book (and I have a Let’s Go for Thailand – mistake as they are nowhere near Lonely Planet quality) says to catch an express bus from the bus station near the Ekamai BTS (train) stop. It says it is a 3 and ½ hour bus ride – so I figure we will get there around 7:30pm – 8:00pm. We have a speed boat set up for 7:30pm. We need to take the school bus from school to the On Nut BTS station, ride the BTS for a few stops to Ekamai and walk to the bus station. As it is a Friday, traffic is usually pretty bad heading into downtown, and a couple of other teachers on our bus tell us we can catch the express bus at Central mall (right across from where we live and much closer than downtown to the school). And this seems really convenient. And even though we have sworn not to listen to anybody we decide to take their advice. We get off the school bus at the Central stop, load up at Family Mart on some snacks, and walk across the bridge to Central Mall. And can you believe it, the bus is just pulling up. We verify this is the bus for Koh Samet (Ban Phe is the port city) and we jump on. It costs 140 Bhat each (a little over $4) and the bus is empty. And I am thinking score – we just cut off 45 minutes to an hour of time not having to get into and out of downtown. Wrong. Turns out this is a local bus. And not only does it stop at Central, but it stops just about everywhere else along the way too (the express bus does not stop at Central, which makes perfect sense). At first I think that we are just stopping all the time while we are in Bangkok, and then we will motor. No such luck. We drive through the heart of every town, taking the slowest way possible and stopping to pick up people every few minutes. The bus goes from empty to full, to fuller, to overcrowded, to ridiculous. All the seats were taken when we made a stop in a town and picked up what must have been half of the Thai Army. It is SRO – and gets so crowded that the woman taking people’s money keeps barking out orders and rearranging people to get everyone on. It is actually amusing as this Thai woman yells at all these soldiers and moves them around like little boys. What isn’t amusing is how hot and claustrophobic it is getting on the bus. I have a picture, but it doesn’t do it justice. This was when the bus cleared out a bit (after the Army got off) – and yes the seats are all taken (Thai people are short).

At 8pm we call to say we are going to be late, but we are still not sure how late. I walk up to the front of the bus and ask the lady how long until Ban Phe – she tells me only ½ and hour, so it doesn’t seem too bad. Forty-five minutes later we are at the bus’s final stop, Rayong and not Ban Phe. This is not good news. Not only is the bus that stops at Central a local bus, it only goes to Rayong, which is 20km from Ban Phe. So now we have to get a taxi from Rayong to Ban Phe (15 minutes), which costs 250 Bhat, just about the same as the bus! That is another thing – many times Thai people will say yes to anything, or not tell you the bad news until the exact point of the bad news. I have no idea why the lady didn’t tell me the bus wasn’t going to Ban Phe when I asked how much longer it was going to take to get there. I’m not sure if it is a language thing or a cultural thing. We finally get to the dock about 10pm and get our speed boat across (by this time we had called about 5 times saying we were still coming and the people at the dock just shook their heads at us when we arrived – it isn’t fun telling people you got on the wrong bus). We took the express bus on the way home, and yes it was express and it took 4 hours (it left a tad late as buses sometimes wait to fill up before leaving). And it was less expensive (126 Bhat vs. 140 Bhat per ticket) than the friggin’ local bus, which just made me even more furious! Once again, the moral of the story – DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE IN THAILAND ABOUT TRAVELING OR ANYTHING ELSE! DON’T DO IT!

Samed Cliff Resort
As it was a busy weekend on Koh Samet a number of places I tried to book were full. I ended up booking a place called Samed (sometimes the island is referred to as Samet, sometimes Samed) Cliff Resort, which was a little pricier than most places and not right on the main stretch, but seemed nice. Our first problem was when we got dropped off by our speed boat at the resort, it wasn’t open. We walked up the private beach (which was pretty disappointing) to one side of the resort (it is a bunch of cottages on a cliff) and then to the other and couldn’t find an office. We then saw a guy in a house nearby and asked him if he knew where we could check in. He walked us over to a building and knocked on the door and woke up another guy. Who took us to a cottage and knocked on a door and woke up another guy. Twenty minutes later we are in our room, which is also not too impressive. And I’m sorry, but if you have guests arriving who have paid in full two weeks before arriving, you don’t shut down before they arrive. For what we were paying it was ridiculous. And the resort was not really that nice – it is picturesque, but the rooms are quite basic, the beach is small, the restaurant is terrible and the service is about as bad.

Oh, and one other thing – it is on the “wrong” side of the island. About a twenty minute walk from the main stretch of beach with all the resorts and bars and restaurants – but that isn’t the main problem. If you come by the ferry you are charged to get on the island, which is technically a national park. If you come by speed boat, you don’t pay the fee, which offsets the cost of a speed boat. What we didn’t know is that we would have to pass by the “park entrance” every time we wanted to go to the main beach (and Samed Cliff is very secluded) and we don’t have the “pass”. So you are told at night time it is fine as there are no guards and during the day just don’t bring any bags and walk right on through – which we did – but just another hassle. Another thing I am starting to learn is not to book ahead. I say starting to learn because I did the same thing for Malaysia (soon you will be able to read about this)!

Indian Summer and the Great Soi Dog Scare of 2006
So now we are at our resort, it is 11pm, we are starving, and everything in our resort is closed, including the restaurant. And it is looking bleak. We walk down the road one way and come to another resort that is hopping, but for guests only and that is a dead end. So we head the other way and are really grumpy now. It looks as if we are screwed. But after about 5 minutes we come to a small bar on the road and decide to keep going to see if anything else is open. And it is lucky we did – as we came across Indian Summer restaurant, which is part of the Baan Puu Paan guesthouse. It was quite amazing, seemingly in the middle of nowhere (a few minutes ago we were walking along a pitch black road) there is an Indian restaurant open at 11pm! And the food was amazing – butter chicken, garlic naan, etc. The guesthouse was owned by an English woman who was asleep at the time. She had two friends covering for her, a Scottish woman and an Irish woman. And the owner’s son was also there. A kid of about 8, he waved us in and also figured out our bill after we were done – it was so funny. And all those accents – so coolio - how they use words differently than us – like describing food as “gorgeous.” I love it. And when we were about ready to leave, the two women were heading to the main stretch of beach to go out and told us it was only a 15 minute walk or so. And they tell the kid to “get your pants on and go to bed!” And he replies, “It’s my life! I’m gonna stay up until 2am and watch TV!” And they confer with each other and decide that is ok and one says to the other, “get on your trousers and let’s go out!” Now imagine all that with the accents – probably one of those you had to be there moments, but funny stuff. Later we learn that the kid races around the island on his mom’s bike causing all kinds of havoc (and complaints from neighbors) and has been known to be in the Silver Sands dance club at all times of the night!

So we decide to walk into town and check out the night scene. Now the guy who finally showed us to our room mentioned not to walk at night because of the soi (street) dogs. And this just floors me, I mean we are on a friggin’ island, a small one at that, how can you have soi dogs? I guess it is just a part of Thailand no matter where you are. And we are a little concerned, but the women at Baan Puu Paan told us how long of a walk it was, so I figured they would have said something if the dogs were really all that bad. And as we walk a little ways, sure enough a few dogs show up. And then a couple of them come near us, and I make the critical mistake of making a kicking motion at one of them (it must have been the beer!). And he just about goes crazy barking, which brings barks from just about everywhere and more dogs. At this point it is a little scary, but we just quicken our pace and keep going. And it seems like things are dying out a bit, when we round a corner and every dog on the island must have been there to greet us. All of them barking and running around. And that was scary. So we turned around and headed back, trying to stay at a normal pace and stare down any of the dogs that got too close. And they peeled off one by one, until there were none left by the time we got back to the restaurant. We decided that was a sign that is was time for bed and headed back to Samed Cliff Resort. But I know what that little fucker was thinking. As soon as I kicked at him he was like oh yeah, I’m gonna get me some of my friends out here and then we’ll see how tough you are. The bend where all the dogs came out was known for the weekend as “dog alley” and we sped through there at break-neck speeds on our moped the rest of the weekend.

“My Buddy”
We did walk into town the next day when it was light out, but decided from then on a moped was the way to go – and rented one – a beautiful, green machine that was crazy cool!

And if you know me well you know I have always wanted a vespa – and keep thinking of getting one out here (which I will name “My Buddy”). The only problem is I have only driven one a couple of times and never with anyone on the back (the same for Margaret). So we are a bit nervous on the things – and it can be nerve-wracking when other cars, trucks, etc. are coming at you, or you are on a dirt road full of people and parked cars and bikes and potholes, etc. And we did have a little accident. Just a stupid, freak thing – we were switching from me driving to Margaret driving and I didn’t turn it off, just left it idling, and when Margaret jumped on she turned the throttle and off it went with her barely on it! She and it went over the curb and luckily she fell off as it turned over and died on the grass. This was right near our resort and so a few people got to see it. Margaret had a little burn on her leg, but very luckily she was not hurt badly, just more shaken up (and she was convinced the whole time that the accident was happening that the moped was going to explode – someone has been watching too much 24!). We got the moped up and back over the curb (those things are pretty heavy actually) and headed on our way. Of course it made us even more nervous and the moped didn’t work quite as well anymore. We turned it in while eating dinner at Indian Summer the next night, and when the lady came to pick it up she looked at it funny and we kept expecting her to come back and yell at us. So all throughout dinner we tensed up when any moped came by, but she never returned.

Other Quick Things

• The weather is absolutely wonderful this time of year . . . for the beach. It is still really warm, but when you can dip into the ocean whenever you want, it makes it perfect. The walks got a little hot, but it is nothing like the heat of Bangkok.
• The ocean is so warm. You have to dive down quite a ways to feel any cold water.
• A Frisbee is the best thing you can bring with you to the beach (other than a beautiful girlfriend of course).
• Fresh fruit shakes on the beach. Unreal. Banana, Mango (the best), watermelon, orange, etc. We had about a million of them.
• An umbrella with two chairs on the sandy white beach is $2 for the day.

• Margaret was thinking about dumping me for this dude.

• Massages and foot scrubs on the beach. Good Googily Moogily
• We stayed at the beach near the Silver Sands resort – lunch every day – ham sammies, morning glory and Singha (large). Note to self – do not book out of the way resorts – book regular places on the beach in the main area – you will not be in your room very much anyway.
• One evening out: BBQ on the beach; bar that had Snoop Dog as a bartender, Ricky Martin playing pool; a hippie at the front table watching the dance floor a little too closely; and the most stereotypical lesbian couple ever – both looking so mean and waiting to rip someone’s head off, but drinking both drinking out of the bar’s famous punch bowl – one bowl with two straws – so funny.
• We left on Monday morning and I was feeling like crap. The whole day. We just stopped at the Samed Cliff Resort restaurant to get a quick bite before the ferry ride. I ordered a ham Sammie and Margaret ordered some soup (noodles?). Anyway, it was the nastiest ham Sammie ever – all soggy – ugh. But they never even brought Margaret’s lunch. It’s like at some point they figured out that she wouldn’t have time to eat it before the boat left and just didn’t bother to tell us. They just brought the bill. Oh – and we both ended up sick for a week – and I am sure it was food poisoning or some bacteria we got from the Indian Summer restaurant. The whole time we were loving all that gorgeous food and saying how we were gonna recommend the place to everyone and how we would never have found it if we didn’t end up at the rotten Samed Cliff. But, um, not recommending it now.

Surin Elephant Round-Up

Keeping up my Blog tradition of being about a month behind (I’m desperately trying to catch up before we go to Malaysia for the Winter Holidays – note that I did finish Myanmar!), let me tell you a little about the Surin Elephant Round-Up we went to the weekend of November 17-19.

Surin is a smallish town about a six hour drive (northeast) from Bangkok. We packed a van full of 11 people (including the driver) for this drive. I had the middle seat in the far back. This was good because there was a gap into the second row where I could stretch my legs, but bad because it was the only seat with no head rest and therefore I couldn’t sleep too easily. But it was better than the second row, which I had on the way home. We left straight from school at 3:30pm and everybody was in a chipper mood. Food, some beers, etc. That lasted until about the first stop when it started to get dark. Then it was pretty quiet as everybody tried to sleep off the long week. But what the heck, I am trying to keep this short – focus!

Back to the town of Surin that is basically popular for one weekend a year. The Elephant Festival weekend. Other than that it is basically tourist-free. So the Elephant Festival is just what it sounds like. There are over 200 Elephants that descend upon Surin for the weekend. There is a Stadium show, a “Sound and Light” show and the Elephants walk around town the rest of the day. You can take a ride on an Elephant (we did not), feed them (Margaret did), etc. It is pretty strange to be in the middle of town and see Elephants maneuvering with regular traffic.

A little history if you are interested. About 50km from Surin live the Guai (or Suai) peoples. They have trained the Elephants to be domesticated animals and use them in the ceremony. Rumor has it that the Elephant trainers are with their specific Elephant for life. The first Elephant Round-Up was in 1960 to celebrate the opening of a district office. It got the attention of locals and foreigners and by “public relations was spread all over the world.” It has been THE annual fair of Thailand since 1962.

There were two big events we went to, both on Saturday. The Elephant Show at the Surin Stadium and the “Sound and Light” show. The Elephant show at the Stadium was a lot of fun. It was from 8:30am to 11:30am. A few highlights.

Before (and After) the Show: Traditional Guai Dancers:

“The Rumble of the Land and Jungle:”

An Ancient Royal Elephant Battle:

The other event was the “Sound and Light” show. And I guess the year before it had been a pretty fun show that included Elephants. But this year they decided to do a play that included Elephants. Anyway – before each act there was a little description in English, but other than that it was impossible to follow. And impossibly boring. No pictures to share because they all came out blurry, but you aren’t missing much. There was a gym right near it and before the “show” Margaret and Angie had fun!

Just a few other things:

We walked around a local market in Surin and there were some interesting sights. On the way home we stopped by the Prasat Meung Tam Temple – very characteristic of the Angkor Wat Temples.

Our last stop on the way home was at a famous beef restaurant! I can’t remember the name of the “ranch” – but the owner had two (or more?) restaurants in Bangkok. But this one was about two hours outside of Bangkok and was an actual “ranch.” It was surreal, as it is totally set up for tourists. Western music playing (hilarious), cows in the fields (it is an actual ranch) and the whole cowboy theme (souvenirs included). And one would think the steaks here would be amazing. And I was so excited for my medium-rare filet! But about 10 minutes after we ordered the waitress came back and told those of us who ordered the filets that they “no have” them. This just cracks me up. We are within spitting distance of cows and yet they no have any filets! So I had a pretty tasteless New York Strip instead. Unreal.

Ok – like I said – short and sweet.